HAPPY HOLIDAY!

I know that I have not been updating my blog lately. My life has been moving so fast, alot has been happening. I have had to make so many decisions, decisions that will affect others - not just me. I have learnt alot. I have learnt to be me. No one else can be me other than myself. With all this going on, I've not had the time to update my blog.

I don't want to talk much about it, I will have posts concerning all the things that have been happening in the new year.

This post is to just wish you all a merry christmas and a happy new year.


Have a very merry christmas everyone! Enjoy the holiday.

 

REMEMBER: No matter how lonely a lion may get, it will not spend an evening with a zebra. That is not pride, it’s just who the lion is. Lions and zebras don’t hang out together and that is not pride, that is just who the lion is.

Friends

Written on 1st November, 2012.

I have been staying at a guest house/lodge for quite some time now. I have developed links and friendships with some of the managers that work there. They teach me Afrikaan, always make me look forward to see them every morning.

I have, in particular, bonded with Retha. A very beautiful and lovely lady. I love her eyes, her opinion towards issues of life, her stories and her willingness to teach me Afrikaan. I also love it that she is a lady after God's heart, spiritual lady.

 This is what happened this morning with Retha:

I told her that I would be leaving for Kenya tonight. She became all mushy, and stretched her hands towards me in an attempt to hug me. She hugged me, tightly (for around 45secs to 1 minute), and told me that she'll miss me. While I was in her arms, I could feel the warmth in her heart. I could also feel the love & vulnerability in the hug. I, for once in a very long time, felt the love of a mother (I have never been very close to my mother). I can still feel it right now, 3 hours later.

Ooh, how I pray that I'll give such kind of love to my children, biological or adopted.

On vulnerability: I think that this is what I fear most... being vulnerable to someone you deeply love is one thing that I really fear. Its so easy to be heart-broken when you are vulnerably in love.
 I love being in control of my heart, feelings and life.

I just had to write this down while I still feel this great feeling.

God bless you, Retha...

Women are the toughest creatures, ever!

 I did a lot of travelling this weekend. I travelled to Namanga… in a shuttle. On my way, I observed Maasai men their traditional attire, sitted by the roadside and along corridors of shopping centers (I recall a Critical and Creative Thinking lecturer’s story about an old Maasai man who had a son in the USA. The son sent his father 7 underwear garments… each for one day of the week. He was so proud of his son, and he wanted to show-off his son’s gift. On the first Sunday, after receiving the underwear garments, he wore one of them and took it off that evening, before going to bed. On Monday-a local market day- he woke up in a hurry to get his favourite sitting-spot in the market. He forgot to put on the Monday underwear. He got his favourite spot, and spread his legs, so that everyone would see what he had put on. Everyone peeped to see what he had to show, and with pride, he kept telling them “Look carefully because I have seven of these. I’ll be in another one tomorrow”).

Back to the story about men sitting and idling around. While the Maasai men idled in the sun, their women were busy building houses (Maasais call them Manyatta), trekking long distances to get just 20 litres of water. Their women were feigning for their families.  We would see them busy making ornaments for sale and doing odd jobs…just to make ends meet. They are responsible for their families. One more thing: If a man in the Maasai community doesn’t have an expectant wife, then he is not considered to be man enough. Therefore, most wives were pregnant, even as much as they were busy looking out for their husbands and kids.

Why does life have to be this unfair to women? Does it have to be this much of a challenge, just because one was born with a vagina a woman? I vividly remember being irritated by this situation and I also remember telling one of the passengers in the shuttle that I thank God I was not born a Maasai because if I was a Maasai, I’d have been a badly-behaved woman. I wouldn’t have settled for less (Please note that am not whining about being born a woman, am only raising my concern about how life is unfair to the well-behaved women).

 On a more personal level, I had my own share of “female misfortunes” this morning…especially with today being a Monday. My red friends visited me yesterday, after delaying their schedule by a day. I was prepared to have a rigorous warm and comforting shower in the morning. I got an unpleasant shock when I woke up to darkness. There was no power and  I was late.  I had to take an ice-cold shower, with my red friends made it worse with the pain in the cold. I didn’t like it. Only God knows the status of my house when I left it. I didn’t get time to clean-up my house.  It was in a mess. I was almost cursing for being born a woman.

Last weekend, I went swimming and made a friend in the process.  Margaret, is her name. A beautiful  and charming young woman.  She’s the lifeguard at the swimming pool. She told me her story: She got pregnant of her boyfriend immediately after high school. The boyfriend then abandoned her. She was left with a kid to take care of, all by herself. At such a young age, she was forced to raise another tiny human.  (Here in my country, there’s no such thing as child-support or garnishee. The woman bears the pain and the burden of raising the kid. In addition to this, abortion is a crime. Do you see why I think that being a woman is hard...and that women are tough because they get on with it?).

In my life, there is no time such as now that I have been more convinced that it pays to be a badly-behaved woman. Not only are you exempted from all the misery and misfortunes of being a well-behaved woman,  you also gain respect from everyone…  you get an opportunity to make history, to be what you want to be, and to do that which you want to do.

However, being a badly-behaved woman comes at a cost: to understand the cost, it is imperative that you understand this:  No matter how lonely a lion may get, it will not spend an evening with a zebra. That is not pride, it’s just who the lion is. Lions and zebras don’t hang out together and that is not pride, that is just who the lion is.

Don’t hang out with zebras, if you know that you are a lion.

To all women, with love,

Judy.

Kenya I : What is happening?

Lately, I have been doing alot of thinking. (I have a friend, Titus, who at this point would have said "Finally, you are thinking". Titus, you are funny. ;)  I always think). I have been thinking about what my country, Kenya, has been going through. I returned home this month to witness shocking events and mishaps.

Apparently, there have been two communities that have been fighting for cattle (yes, it is happening in the 21st century...and no, the cattle they are fighting for isn't what you are thinking of. They are fighting for malnourished cows and camels). The Kenyan government thought that it would be a noble deed to send some policemen (I think they were administration police), 42 of them to the battle-field. I am shaking as am writing this because what happened still haunts me everytime I remember that I am a Kenyan, and that I have always been proud of the Kenyan government. The 42 policemen were mercilessly massacred in a shooting-spree.

More recently, 3 Kenyan defense soldiers were shot in a town called Garissa.The death of the 3 soldiers angered the whole defense force and they unleashed their rage on the residents of Garissa. They burnt businesses, residential houses, shot and killed the innocent residents of Garissa. The soldiers raped women and children (this is one of the reasons I detest, and I always will, men.) I have a friend, Mohammed, who works and resides in Garissa.  He told me about how ugly the scene was.

This is just a summary of the unfortunate events that have been happening to our country. This series of events have led to travel sanctions and warning by most countries. Subsequently, foreign direct investment in Kenya is limited.

I cry for Kenya, the ICT hub of Africa, the blessed land...I pray for you , Kenya.

My message to my fellow Kenyans:

We are one people, it is not an accident that we all found ourselves in this beautiful land. God did not make a mistake when he let all the 42 tribes to reside in one country.   And so, even as there is no doubt that Kenyans will have different views and opinions, millions in fact – that is fine.  As we are about to have our national elections, let us observe peace. As much as you might not agree with your neighbour's opinion or choice, respect them. Don't attack them. We have had enough tragedy as of now. We don't want any more drama or loss of lives.

 If we seek a dignified society, we must embody that dignity and grant the same to others.

We are one people.

Kenya moja, sisi ni wenye nchi. Tuishi kwa amani.
(One Kenya, we are the owners of the country. Let's live in peace)

God bless you and God bless Kenya.

Africa and Economics : My Continent and My Passion II

My mind has been deeply troubled and it still is troubled by the situation in Africa. I don't like the fact that most  Economic theories rarely work for Africa. The theories that seem to work for our lovely continent are the negative ones, like the vicious cycle of poverty. Politics seems to get in the way of Economic theories.

Zimbabwe's economy is projected to grow 8.9 percent next year if the political environment remains stable and the government lives within its expenditure targets.

Uncertainty over the date and conduct of elections due within the next year is casting a shadow over the economy given Zimbabwe's recent history of violent and disputed polls.

This was the same situation in Kenya (2007), the economy was projected to grow by over 7%. This projection became a dream after the elections turned violent.

Why do elections and politics always change our projections, and carefully planned GDP's? What exactly is ailing our continent.

On the positive side, I was impressed by President Goodluck Jonathan's decision to reject the N5,000 note last month. This averted possible inflation in Nigeria. I was also impressed by Nigeria's budget that was read yesterday. I love the fact that security had an allocation of  N921.91 Billion (now that the Boko Haram terrorize the country). Well planned. Congratulations, Mr. President and team.

The Euro Zone crisis has time and again thrown financial markets into turmoil as several countries in the EU and several monetary union blocks continue to face difficulty in servicing their debts. On the other hand, although many emerging and developing countries, like India and China are experiencing relatively robust growth, downside risks remain as well. In fact, global growth projection has continuously been revised downward and is now 4% for 2012-2013.

These developments have implications for our African economy as, aside from the impact on the inflow of Foreign Direct Investments, they could also lead to lower demand for our primary export commodity. We are living witnesses to the extent of volatility that can afflict the international oil market with prices plummeting from US$147/barrel in July 2008 to about  US$38/barrel four months later. Thus, although the oil price is currently over US$100/barrel, there is no guarantee what it would be in the future. There are also uncertainties in the area of international food prices which make it imperative that we take steps to safeguard our position through policies that would promote food security.

Despite the drama in the international arena, local politics also affects our African economy. For instance, Kenyans celebrate the fact that the president did not sign the bill to raise the MP's retirement benefit to Ksh. 2 Billion. Kenyans, this is my advice to you:  "Wake up! Your president has been signing bills that have been raising their salaries for the last 10 years! Meanwhile, your kids stay out of school for months because the same president failed to take control of the teachers' salaries, many people die at national hospitals because the doctors are on a salary-increment-strike". Please don't get me wrong: I know that the Kenyan president is an economist, and that raising all these people's salaries would cause inflation...but for crying-out-loud, why in the world would he allow the MP's to have their salaries raised over the last ten years?

I think that it is up to us, as economists, to come up with an Economics-Politics integration policy that will not distort all the theories we use.

I have this deep passion for development in Africa, for a developed Africa. I still think that Somalia and Zimbabwe would do much better if they had their own measures of value. I believe that Africa is rich, and that we can turn the tables around.

Africa, a time is coming when all will be well.

Independent Girl: Part 1

It is just over 6 months since I moved out of my parents' house, and I vividly remember how overly excited I was. (Please refer to my post  Independence... I love it for more information.) I thank God that I have made it this far.

I have learnt so much, and matured as well, from the independence I craved for. First, I moved from my parents' house to a small studio apartment. All I had was a bed (bought it from my savings), and beddings from campus. With that, I was enthusiastic about life and nothing would hold me back from getting the independence I wanted.

My experience in my studio apartment was average (I hate average). I loved the furnish that was in the apartment, the hot shower, and the lorent that came with it. I had some problems with the apartment... for instance, I had a noisy neighbour that used to bring a new lady to his house every night... and you can imagine what used to happen-and the noise I would hear at night ;).  I was on the ground-floor of the building complex. Kids would come play at  my door - and make so much noise. This basically means that my days and nights were never quiet. I didn't like it at all. My apartment was not safe either.

I didn't like the fact that I had no laundry-lines of my own (I live in Africa where we wash our clothes by hand - but this is going to change for me, soon). I had to walk a distance to hang my clothes. I hated that.

I know that you are probably wondering why am describing my experience in the past-tense. Well, I moved out of that studio apartment after 3 months.

I moved to another apartment in a building near my old building complex. I this apartment. It is bigger, private, and spacious. I thank God for it and everything in it. I will spend a longer time in it than I did in my studio apartment.

My experience as an independent woman has been great. I have learnt that life doesn't have to be perfect, it is OK to have weak moments  and that it is OK to cry. I have also learnt the value of people, that life would be boring without people, and that some people (especially women and children) are victims of circumstances. It is up to me, and you my friends, to help them. I have learnt to help people, to give them a shoulder to cry on, and to cry with them. It doesn't matter if you ate or slept hungry at night, or if you slept on a cold floor because during the day, we experience the same sun (or rain, or whatever the weather), we breathe the same air, and we live in the same planet.

I have learnt to fully trust in God, and letting Him know my plans.

I still have the enthusiasm I had when I first moved out, and I hope that my parents are proud of the bold move I made.



(watch out for part 2)

Enjoy Life When You Still Can!

Life is short. It is so short that its unbelievable. The worst thing you can do to yourself is to live an unhappy life. Be happy, do that which you love doing.

Do not live under someone's mercy.

Live life to the fullest today, tomorrow is not promised.

Enjoy life, take time to feel the sunshine, to smell the roses (and other flowers), be happy.

Love. Love people, love what you do. Do not assume anyone's role in your life. God placed them in your life for a reason.

Ideally, life is meant to be beautiful. Do not spend all your life working. God made us in a way that we need rest. He, Himself, also rested on the seventh day.  Money, power and all that comes with it is really not worth it by the end of the day. Love is, happiness is. (Well, I don't know about love, but am sure happiness is).

 Life should be a celebration. You are alive! Hey! You are alive at the cost of 100,000,000 others. You are a blessing.
Don't be afraid to enjoy life. Don't hold yourself back. Don't live a crappy life.

Even as much as you enjoy life, do it carefully. Do not destroy the beauty of life.

Most importantly, don't forget God.  Pray. Communicate with Him. Thank Him for the life you have.
My prayer to God is the prayer of Jabez: that He may bless me indeed, and that He may enlarge my territory.


With lots of love,

Judy.

MEN!

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you  from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what
makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you
deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle.  If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not
better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you
any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you,
speak up.

Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against  you later.

You cannot change a man's behaviour.* Change comes from  within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he
has more education or in a better job.

Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you,  he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat  you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way
street.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about
baggage...
deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you..
a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals..
look for  someone complimentary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always  know where you are,
and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for  granted.

Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man.

Share this with other women and men (just so they know)... You'll
make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman
prepare.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and
an entire lifetime to forget them.


Advice from Angel: Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships
that are abusive or hurtful.

Dr Phil: You should know that you're the best thing that could ever happen to
anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he
was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only
one. They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right
one.

Ladies take care of your own hearts....


Thanks, Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Phil

Africa and Economics, My Continent and My Passion I

I have been away from my motherland for quite some time now. I have been in a country that encourages promiscuity (from my own analysis), a country who's president has many wives and concubines, and even sleeps with HIV+ women, then takes a shower afterwards, believing that he'll not get the deadly virus.

Please don't get me wrong, the country is quite developed; more developed than Kenya... and Kenya has a long way to go before it catches up with it.

Absence from my motherland has opened my eyes wider. I have come to realize that things are not as they seem to be. For instance, this country gained independence almost two decades ago. The country is still controlled by its former colonizers. Their former bosses own the land, the companies, they employ, they feed the nation, the make decisions on behalf of the president, they run the economy.

The lifestyle of the natives is extravagant, they depend on loans to get food,clothes, shelter and even luxuries. They then spend the rest of their lives repaying their debts, and the cycle continues with their offspring.

To the North of this country is another troubled country. It has been on the headlines for quite some time for the wrong economic reasons. First of all, its president chased all foreign farmers from the agriculturally-productive country... then disbursed all the fertile land to the natives. Then natives were not familiar with managing farms. In addition to that, it has not been raining as it used to when the foreigners occupied the land. He then started blaming the foreigners by saying that they were playing tricks with the sky, and God... and that is why it doesn't rain any more :)
Secondly, the country's currency lost its value shortly after doing away with the foreign farmers. It now doesn't have its own currency, it uses the USD as its currency.

In my motherland, there's a silent fear in everyone's heart. The fear of being a victim of a terrorist attack. My country has been threatened, on several occasions, by the Al Shabaab and the Al Qaeda. There's also a fear of an ethnic battle (My country is made up of 42 tribes). The fear is not only on my fellow countrymen, it is also felt by the foreign investors...consequently reducing the level of foreign direct investments.

To the East of my country is a country in which bomb-blasts happen more frequently that it rains, and more frequently than child-birth. The economy in this country is the worst in the world (I stand to be corrected). I hope that it'll be a better place, especially now that it has a new president,  Hon. Xassan Sheikh Mahamoud.

To the North-West of my country, Kenya, is the newest nation in the world as at today. Kenya helped the country in its journey to independence. It is so sad that the residents of the black-diamond-rich are jealous of Kenyans. Xenophobia is rampant in the country. It is a common thing to see corpses of my fellow country-men being returned home for a decent send-off. Kenyans are killed mercilessly in this neighbour. This consequently discourages investors and great minds from going to invest and to develop the Kenyan neighbour.

To the South of my country is a country that disregards capitalism and embraces socialism. Unlike China, this country with extremely slow people has been unsuccessful in practising "all for all". In this day and age, it doesn't have any form of identification for the citizens. Despite the long coastline, numerous islands, many tourist-attraction sites and the wonderful opportunities presented to the natives of this wonderful country, the inhabitants are still too slow to capture, or to even see, the opportunities.

Further to the West, Nigeria has been experiencing its share of problem of this wonderful continent. Corruption has been ailing the country, interfaith war, oil wrangles. Despite the efforts of Hon. Ngozi Okonjo Iweala (my role model) in eliminating corruption, the leaders of this country continually let her down. She's now working hard to formulate irreversible economic policies (She's the finance minister. I long for the day that I'll meet her, and ask her so many questions about economics in Nigeria and the policies made during her tenure as the World Bank deputy president. Oh God, please make my dream come true).

To the North, the people have been under a wave of transformation - which am so proud of. But really, why kill the US ambassador? How would they feel if their ambassador at the US was attacked and killed? Do people always have to turn violent when their religion seems to be attacked? Shouldn't religion guide us on how to live peacefully with each other? Don't Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hindu and other religion teach us how to love each other, to do good, and to repay evil with good?

I always look at my continent and wonder whether we should be living the way we do. Poverty has attacked a high percentage of the continent's residents, people are at war killing each other. With all these vices, the world looks at us and just laughs at what they call "African problems". Meanwhile, they develop their countries and shun from Africa. They invest in their own countries, chase poverty and love each other.

Issues that affect the economic progress continent in my continent ignite in me a passion to make a change. Africa would be a better continent if there was a South Africa with hardworking people, a Zimbabwe with its own currency and hardworking farmers, a terrorist and  ethnic-free Kenya, a stable and safe Somalia with its own currency. It would be the envy of other continents if South Sudan didn't fight with Sudan and if its people would welcome foreign business people. Africa would be wonderful if Tanzania realized that this is the 21st century, socialism wouldn't work if it hasn't worked for more than half  a century, and if Tanzanians woke up and learnt from the rest of East Africa. I'd be proud of Africa if Nigeria wasn't as corrupt as it is, and if its citizens weren't be feared by the rest of us. I'd be happy if Christians and Muslims didn't fight.

I always have, and I always will be inspired by my dream of making Africa a better place for our people and children. I will work hard to make sure that I improve the economic situation in my continent. I always pray to God to give me opportunities that will make me productive to my continent...so that I may be active in implementing functional currencies for countries without currencies, in formulating economic policies for countries like Somalia and Southern Sudan. If presented with an opportunity, I would work tirelessly to make sure that the East African Community (EAC) is successful, with common goals (including sociatalism > a term I've come up with that describes a combination of socialism and capitalism. If implemented, I believe EAC would be productive).

God, please hear my prayer for this beautiful continent.

God is my Sanctuary

    Lately I’ve been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I’m amazing
I’m strong beyond my years
But they don’t see inside of me
I’m hiding all the tears

They don’t know
That I come running home when I fall down
They don’t know
Who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
Because deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child

Unafraid because His armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I’m amazing
I never face retreat
But they don’t see the enemies
That lay me at His feet

They don’t know
That I come running home when I fall down
They don’t know
Who picks me up when no one is around

I have my weak moments

But whatever the situation

I'll always remember
That God is my sanctuary

 

Don't Fear, Follow Your Female Intuition.

“There are voices
that want to be heard
so much to mention
but you can't find the words
the scent of magic
the beauty that's been
when love was wilder than the wind…”
The 1988 Roxette song “Listen to Your Heart” attempted to explain it but couldn’t define it. That still, small voice. Our heart. Our intuition. A weird feeling. A gut instinct. Whatever you call it – female intuition has been around since the dawn of time and will live on til the dust of time. I would even go so far as to say that on that fateful morning in the Garden of Eden, Eve must have grabbed the remote and put her intuition on mute; otherwise, she and Adam probably wouldn’t have ever taken a bite out of that infamous apple and we might still be walking around naked. (Or in other words, blame Eve for your Barneys bill!) Time and time and time again, we read stories of women who knew their husbands were cheating with absolutely no evidence…and they were right. Women who canceled flights at the last minute because they had a bad feeling…and the plane later crashed. Women who walked away from a friend or a job or a relationship with no provocation besides “just having a feeling,” and were likely teased mercilessly and doubted and looked at like they were crazy…only to later discover a fundamental flaw in the friend or job or relationship that would have caused them massive amounts of heartache had they not left the party early. So why are we so quick to dismiss this internal voice of ours?
Perhaps because sometimes it’s painful…and inconvenient…and even scary…to heed this voice that is often saying something that we don’t wanna hear.

Some of the strongest women in pop culture history have spoken out on women’s intuition:
“Learn to let your intuition—gut instinct—tell you when the food, the relationship, the job isn’t good for you (and conversely, when what you’re doing is just right).” ~Oprah Winfrey
“I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition. If I go against her, she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely.” ~Kim Basinger
“God made man stronger but not necessarily more intelligent. He gave women intuition and femininity. And, used properly, that combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I've ever met.” ~Farrah Fawcett
So what do you need to look out for? And how do you know you’re following the path of truth and not simply chasing a rabbit trail of suspicion? Here are a few tips on how to follow your inner voice proudly when the world is trying to drown it out loudly:

1) Your intuition IS REAL. Don’t just hear it. Listen to it. If you sense a red flag going up in your mind, STOP, slow down, listen, re-evaluate. It only takes ONE stop sign to make us stop a car…so why does it take numerous red flags to bring a relationship or situation to a halt? If something is nagging at the corners of your mind about a person, place, job, or circumstance…listen to your heart and get to the bottom of what your concern is. And if you can’t get to the bottom of it and you’re still feeling uneasy, walk away. (Better to be safe than sorry.)
2) Your heart talks the truth so your legs can walk the truth. Once you’ve determined why you’re reacting so violently or viscerally to a situation, you must start letting more than your fingers do the walking and exit stage left. If you find out a person is backstabbing you, or a boyfriend is cheating on you, or a situation at work is going to cause you to compromise your values or beliefs, and you still hang around for the fallout…you’re not honoring yourself or your truth. I have found, over and over again, when I don’t heed my internal voice and I move forward anyway, disaster strikes. And there ain’t nothin’ fun about having to put out a fire that I could have stopped before the match was even struck.
3) Like your own fingerprint, no two gut feelings are the same. And not all of them are bad, either. Sometimes, despite all the odds stacked against you, your heart is screaming at you to move forward in faith, because it’s all gonna work out exactly as you envision it. It is in those moments that it is CRUCIAL to follow your heart no matter how dark the night gets and no matter how hard the storm hits. Chase that inner voice til you catch your dream! Some of the most successful people had nothing to go on but a feeling…and look where it got them:
“Faith is a passionate intuition.” ~William Wordsworth
“You must train your intuition - you must trust the small voice inside you which tells you exactly what to say, what to decide.” ~Ingrid Bergman
“Often you have to rely on intuition.” ~Bill Gates
(I don’t know about you, but I’d be willing to bet on Wordsworth, Bergman, and Gates. Just sayin’.)

At the end of the day, to truly live the lives we were meant to live, we have to be willing to walk away from, or walk toward, the things that our hearts are urging us to catch or release, often with no evidence other than our intuition to support our decision. But here’s the thing: It’s impossible to go wrong when you actively, doggedly, ardently follow your heart. More often that not, it takes stepping away from the crowd and charting your own path in order to heed that still, small voice…so if you find yourself alone out there, never fear; it means greatness is near! After all:
“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself.” ~Alan Alda

Should I call it love or childhood confusion?

I was in third grade, 8 years old, when two brothers were transferred to our school. I guess they were twins. Our school had two streams. One of them came to my class and the other one went to the other class.
Apparently, it turned out that the guy that came to my class was academically bright. E was his name.
It was around this time that the soap "Maria de los Angeles" was being aired on national TV. It was the first Mexican soap that I watched and keenly followed, at ages 8 to 9.

I was in grade four (8.5 years old) when I decided to make my first move. I proposed to him to be my boyfriend, and he surely became my boyfriend. (I learnt the proposal tactics from the Mexican soap) > At age 9, we didn't know much. Our love was only about staring at each other. We never hugged, never kissed, and never had sex; we were too young to know about these things. The closest we got to each other was being desk-mates.
I had funny feelings for him, I must confess, feelings that would overwhelm me every time our eyes met. Most people in my class knew about us.
We were in grade seven when I noticed that he was looking at Faith, my classmate, in the same way he used to look at me. I couldn't stand it. I had to let him go, I pushed him to Faith. He actually went to her. It was hurting.  I was disappointed. I made a pledge to myself that I would work very hard in school, outdo him and his competitors. That is actually what happened. I beat him in national exams.
I really loved him. I cried myself out for the next two years while in high school (I always laugh at myself everytime I think about how stupid I must have been). Eventually, I developed new interest for myself - hard work in academics and resilience.
There was no way I would allow any alien to come mess up my feelings again!

If I were asked what I think about E today, I would say appreciation > I thank him for having broken my heart at such an early age. It was during the healing process that I learnt the meaning and the need for hard work in school. What I feel for him: gratitude. I honestly don't know what I saw in him. Currently, he's a good friend.
I would be lying if I said that I haven't had crushes on people > I have had crushes on so many people. I would also be lying if I said that I haven't had the funny feelings for people, I have.
I guess the issue here is that I am too shy to let them know or that I don't have the audacity to make the first move (Goodness! What happened to my 8-year-old self? I miss her!).

I have had aliens making their proposals to me - sometimes I feel like pushing a grenade down their throats. Some of the aliens are nice guys. Sometimes I am tempted to say yes to the nice ones (you know yourselves), but NO. I think that having a boyfriend or a girlfriend would drain too much out of me. I am not ready for a relationship, I guess. Besides, you know I can't stand the male species.

Please note that my experience and encounter with love has absolutely NOTHING to do with my attitude towards men and marriage.
 I am yet to discuss the source of my attitude in another blog-post. Watch out for it.

***Sorry, E. I don't mean to hurt you.


Edit: June 2015- 
E moved on and married a beautiful lady. They now have a lovely daughter. I am happy for him if he's happy in his marriage. ...I don't know if I've moved though :(

Be a first place girl, not a just in case girl

Most of us have read “He’s Just Not That Into You,” or at least seen the movie. We know the rules. We know the score. We can weigh in on our friends’ love lives with perfect clarity, giving them advice, showing them the error of their ways; but yet, when it comes to our own lives…and to that ONE guy…the one that makes us weak in the knees…the one that can pluck at our heart strings with both hands tied behind his back…the one that we hear the opening chords of “Take My Breath Away” every time he’s within a 50 mile radius…our girl power goes out the window faster than you can say “I am woman, hear me roar.” This guy is our blind spot. Our strongest weakness. Our kryptonite. Our Justin Case.

Justin Case (more commonly known as “Just In Case”) is a smooth operator. He knows how to push our buttons. He knows how to get under our skin. He knows how to offer just enough of himself to keep us hooked, sometimes for months and even years at a time. He doesn’t really want us to stay, but he doesn’t really want us to go. He doesn’t ever come out and say yes, but he also doesn’t ever say no. No matter how black or how white we need the terms of our relationship to be, we are willing to stay in a perpetual state of gray just to keep him around. We quite obligingly allow ourselves to take up residence in Relationship Purgatory because we’re not willing to give up the ghost and move on, but we’re also not willing to give up the most and sign on for what could be a life of always being second place. And therein lies the crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic conundrum of Justin Case.

Here’s the bad news: Justin Case will be perfectly content to keep you around, indefinitely, JUST IN CASE something “better” never comes along. And here’s the real kicker: his definition of “something better” usually involves someone that is clearly inferior to the fabulousness that is YOU. For whatever reason, somewhere along the way, he started to see you as the “safe” choice, the in-between girl, the backup plan. Not because you are any of those things but because he is incapable of seeing you clearly enough to realize the diamond he has standing right in front of him. Perhaps his blinders are there out of fear, or immaturity, or (as much as we hate to admit this) maybe he simply prefers Jello to Crème Brulee and no matter how many times you hand him the menu, he’s going to keep choosing Jello. Whatever his reasoning, do you really want to spend another second waiting around for him to realize how incredible you are? Or do you want to make today the day you move on to someone who wants to rock your world, and wants to blow your mind, and will never hand your glass slipper to the wicked stepsister when he has Cinderella standing right in front of him?

Here’s the good news: You’re not a “just in case” girl. You’re a first place girl. When you realize you're worth so much more, it won't be so hard to finally close that door! You have to know when to say when to what might have been and get in line with what can still be. The hardest part is realizing his part in your story is over. Yes, you were crazy about him. No, you can’t just make your feelings disappear like magic. And yes, it’s probably going to hurt for awhile. But here’s the best part: You are stronger than even your strongest weakness. Know your power, lady! There is no one that you are not strong enough to walk away from, so put on your best stilettos and start walking! If he can’t say yes, it’s time for you to say no and GO. The time for hesitation is over. The Future is waiting; and it will never fight with the Past to get your attention. And once you've made the decision to move on, don't look back. You will never find your Future in the rearview mirror.

Ultimately, Justin Case might have been one of those fun tunes to hum along to for awhile, but you can only sing the chorus over and over for so long before you realize the record is skipping; never moving back but also never moving forward. It’s time to stop singing the chorus and start rewriting the verses. Remember: Mr. Right will recognize the music of your heart and sing along to a tune that could never be heard by Mr. Wrong. So go ahead, First Place Girl. Rock his world. In life and in love, there are no points for second place. Mark this night as the night you moved on from Justin Case.

Domestic Violence: Consider The Kids!

This is a poem about a girl-child who sees her parents fight. She's just talking to both of them, in so much pain. I understand her and her pain. Ladies, consider your kids... don't wait for the tragedy. Avoid the violence by keeping-off men!

Momma please stop crying, I can't stand the sound
Your pain is painful and its tearin' me down
I hear glasses breakin as I sit up in my bed
I told dad you didn't mean those nasty things you
said

You fight about money, bout me and my brother
And this I come home to, this is my shelter
It ain't easy growin up in World War III
Never knowin what love could be, you'll see
I don't want love to destroy me like it has done
my family

Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't
leave

Daddy please stop yellin, I can't stand the sound

Make mama stop cryin, cuz I need you around
My mama she loves you, no matter what she says
its true
I know that she hurts you, but remember I love
you, too

I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away
Don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have
no choice, no way
It ain't easy growin up in World War III
Never knowin what love could be, well I've seen
I don't want love to destroy me like it did my
family


In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, let's act like it comes
naturally
I don't wanna have to split the holidays
I don't want two addresses
I don't want a step-brother anyways
And I don't want my mom to have to change her
last name

In our family portrait we look pretty happy
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, act like it goes naturally

(I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't
leave)
Remember that the night you left you took my
shining star?


Mom will be nicer
I'll be so much better, I'll tell my brother
Oh, I won't spill the milk at dinner
I'll be so much better, I'll do everything right
I'll be your little girl forever
I'll go to sleep at night

Thanks, P!NK

Women, The World is Waiting For You!

As women you have so many unique gifts that uplift and inspire.

The world needs you now more than ever.

And the dreams you have are planted deep within your heart by Life itself for a reason.
Your responsibility is not to make them happen but simply to say “Yes”.
Along the journey to your dreams fulfillment you will face challenges that test you.
In these moments things can sometimes seem tough. It can be easy to lose hope. You might sometimes wonder if your dreams will ever happen. You may even consider abandoning your dreams altogether, feeling as though you have given everything and have yet to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
These are the moments that it is easy to give up.
These are the moments most people give in.
But these are the very moments to LIVE everything you know deep in your heart.
As women one of your gifts is your profound intuition. You sense, see and feel things beyond the physical. People may call you crazy, unreasonable, unrealistic. But know that nothing revolutionary was created by dreaming small and buying into limitations.
You have that magical ability to breathe love into something and give it life.
There will be no shortage of people who will tell you what can or cannot be done. Most of the people that discourage your dreams have never done what you feel called to do. If you listen to the naysayers, you will live an existence of mediocrity. But if you follow your Soul’s calling you will fly on the wings of synchronicity.
It takes true courage to follow your dreams in this world that tries to shake you down to live in fear and survival.
If you are facing one of those challenging moments in life, but feel your dream to be truly authentic to your heart. Then you must commit, continue and trust bigger than your fears.
Your dreams were given to you for a reason.
Often you are given a dream and and it burns so deeply in your heart because that dream is not just about you. It is a bigger vision of the Universe being birthed through you to impact and inspire many.
Before every breakthrough there is often a breakdown. Before the dawn there is the darkness. But if you persist, the sun will rise again no matter how dark it may seem. Spring will follow winter. Behind the clouds the sun is always shining. Even if you cannot see it right now.
Even if you can’t see how your dream will happen, there is an Intelligence of Life that knows.
Let the Light of your Soul guide you. It knows. It is always ON. Let your Soul lead you to your goal.
Trust it.
In those quiet moments of challenge, you might think that it would be so much easier if you didn’t have a burning dream at all, then you could just go on with your life.
But know that:
-The journey that your dream takes you on is part of the reward itself. And who you become in the process is the evolutionary gift.
- Giving up on your dream might seem like an easier way. But in reality if your dream has meaning to you, the pain in denying it is a excruciating. In denying your authentic dream, a part of you will die.
When you keep the faith, your faith will keep you moving. Then the wings of Grace will carry you forward. Support from unseen and unexpected sources will rise to meet you.
So:
1- Acknowledge and commit to your dream. FULLY
2- Spend time everyday taking action towards your dream. CONSISTENTLY.
3- Surround yourself with positive people that believe in your dreams. TOTALLY.
4- Find small ways to live your dreams daily. CREATIVELY.
5- Surrender the fulfillment of your dreams to the creativity and perfect timing of the universe. TRUSTINGLY.
Commit.
Continue.
Create.
The universe is already CONSPIRING the fulfillment of your dreams.
The world is waiting for you.
Now.
Love.Now


Thanks, Kute.

What are you living for?

I agree, am not perfect. I, too, have weaknesses...for instance: I don't believe in marriage and sometimes I don't even believe in love.
I came across some girl and for sure she gave me a piece of her mind concerning my views. I'll share with you all that I can remember.

"What are you living for? Life is too short not to love. People who are heart-broken will always tell you how bad it is to be in a relationship but they'll not tell you how they felt when they were in the relationship. Continue pursuing your career and continue assuming about the existence of love but one day, it will find you when you are not looking. It will sweep you off your feet."

This is just all that I can remember. This girl said alot that left me thinking: "What am I living for, really?" I will reserve the answer
to myself, but I want you to give an honest answer to this question: What are you living for?

Love your spouse now, not when its too late!

This story really touched my heart. You should read this and also share it with your friends.

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death  do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

The Worst Pick-Up Line I've Ever Heard

I am a girl and I come across all kinds of funny guys. I always try my best to show them that am not interested at all... but some of them still go ahead to showcase their absurdity.

I often hold back laughter after they prove their questionable reasoning capacity (forgive my language but that's what I feel). I, however, couldn't hold laughter after I heard this:

"Hi! I couldn't help noticing you notice that I noticed you." 

Goodness! Guys, let me give you a hint: Go look for people that are interested. You don't want to embarrass yourself!

Woman + Husband = Validation?

A couple of years ago I recall watching Tyra Banks being interviewed about the tremendous amount of success she has had during the course of her career. The interviewer, who was also a woman, spent the majority of the interview discussing all of the many wonderful things Tyra was able to achieve in the entertainment and fashion industry. The success of America’s Next Top Model, her then self-titled talk show, Tyra, and her stellar supermodel career were all highly praised, leaving me as a viewer in awe of this woman who was able to accomplish so much all before the age of 40. As I continued watching the program, my admiration for Banks grew rapidly; however, it was not until the last few minutes of the interview when my love fest came to an abrupt halt.
The interviewer then asked Tyra if marriage was in her future, for it appeared that with all of her success and accomplishments, her love life still hasn’t quite “gelled”. While I can’t remember exactly what Tyra’s response was, I do remember thinking to myself, “Here we go again!” as a serious eye roll at the television quickly ensued. It appeared that, once again, a beautiful, intelligent, successful woman was about to be pitied for seemingly not having the affection of a man. What the hell?!

I became annoyed by the “romance question”, for I feel that women—and society as a whole—tends take on the notion that a female is not successful unless she has husband. Tyra Banks, who was a world famous supermodel and has created her own production company and has hosted and produced two successful shows, still appears to have failed in the love department just because she has yet to marry. My question is this: Since when has a marriage became the deciding factor of a woman being happy and/or successful? Who in the hell said that a woman received the ultimate stamp of validation she gained the title of “Mrs.” in front of her name? This is what pisses me off.

I think our society, although forward thinking and making progress in women’s rights, is still a bit antiquated in the fact that it appears a woman must be romantically connected to someone in order to be viewed as anyone. It seems that regardless of how successful a woman becomes or how many accomplishments she achieves, she is not deemed as “having it all” unless she is married. Now, a woman who decides to marry and have children but chooses not to have a career is viewed as noble individual, for motherhood, quite arguably, is considered the hardest yet most rewarding job on the planet. But women who have the great career but no husband or family are deemed to be lacking in an area of their life and, in my opinion, society views them as secretly being unhappy or unfulfilled. I think that old fashioned thoughts such as these not only hurt women, but it is also a negative ideology learned by young girls.

There are thousands, if not millions, of adolescent girls who navigate their way through middle school and high school feeling that they are not good enough, pretty enough or desirable simply because none of their male counterparts have yet to take an interest in them. This means that girls as early as age 11 if not sooner, are acquiring characteristics of low self-esteem because they look for some random boy to validate their entire existence. The Tyra Banks interview is indicative of this same concept. It appears that even when young girls grow up and become successful business women, they are still viewed as possibly sub-par if they do not have a male counterpart. Such ideologies must stop ASAP!!!
Now, I do realize that it is a completely innate for people to desire companionship. I, by no means, am against marriage. I wholeheartedly respect the institution of marriage and believe that family is a beautiful thing. However, to infer that a woman, regardless of how accomplished she is, will not be fulfilled or will never “have it all” unless she has a husband, is completely ridiculous. One’s happiness and validation is solely dependent upon themselves—not a man, a marriage or even children, but only themselves. We cannot have women believing that marriage is the answer to gaining joy if they deem their lives to be unfulfilled. It is unfair for a woman, or anyone for that matter, to place their happiness upon any individual other than themselves.

 Marriage is two complete and happy people coming together to complement each other, not supplement each other. And if it so happens that a woman decides that marriage is not for her, that does not mean that she will be unhappy, or die a sad life alone with a house full of cats for companions. Women should take charge of their lives and not feel that they need a male companion to enjoy it. Dating and romance is beautiful, but if a woman is unhappy with whom she is, then it does not matter who comes into her life, for she will always feel unfulfilled until she personally changes her attitude.

Women should be taught, as early as childhood, that a relationship is not what validates their existence, but setting goals and taking the necessary steps towards achieving them is what should give them a sense of fulfillment. Tyra Banks is an excellent role model for women and young girls everywhere. She should be praised for what she has been able to achieve on her own. If she does decide to marry, that’s great, but if she decides to never marry, she still will be the epitome of success. Marriage and relationships are a beautiful thing and should be celebrated, but it’s imperative that women and young girls know they are successful and invaluable whether they have the title of Mrs. or Miss.


Thanks,

Tanesha Hankerson

Worthy

 Another poem for God and I.

Oh my soul, you have not been left alone.
For He counted us worthy, so let's be worthy!
Just trust and know you're strong enough to carry on.
He counted us worthy, so let's be worthy! Oh my soul.

Your name is written in the Book of Life.
Keep walking in dominion and His might.
You serve the Son, you serve the One
Who knew you long before you'd begun.
And you are worthy, you are worthy!
Go ahead and encourage yourself.
Look inside and draw from the well.
The water flows and Heaven knows
That you can't make it on your own.
He said you're worthy, so let's be worthy!


So a man thinketh, so does he believe.
Faith is not about what you see.
It doesn't matter how you feel.
His Word is right, His love is real.
He said you're worthy, so let's be worthy!
Don't worry, be happy and just say
The light is gonna lead me all the way.
Speak with authority and see
That even your words are victory.
So say you're worthy, say you're worthy!

For God so loved the world
He gave His only Son's life
So that two milleniums later
We could go walking in that Light.
So that nothing and no one
Could separate us from that right.
Let's be worthy, let's be worthy!

 He has made us worthy!And we will walk in Heaven's glory
For we know the King is soon to come
And we will sing a song of triumph
To the Holy One.
Lord You are worthy. You alone are worthy. 

I lift my head. I lift my hands.
I lift my heart. Now I understand.
You counted us worthy, so let's be worthy!


And oh my soul, you have not been left alone.
For He counted us worthy, so let's be worthy!
Just trust and know you're strong enough to carry on.
He counted us worthy, so let's be worthy!

The Drunk at Church

A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through the Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring. Still feeling hung over and tired, he finally nods off.
       
The pastor has been watching him all along, noticing his apparent hangover and is disgusted. At the end of the sermon, the preacher decides to make an    example of him.
      
      He says to his congregation, "All those wishing to have a place in heaven, please stand."
      
      The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping man.
      
      Then the preacher says even more loudly, "And he who would like to find a place in hell please STAND UP!"
      
      The weary man catching only the last part groggily stands up, only to find that he's the only one standing.
      
      Confused and embarrassed he says, "I don't know what we're voting on here, but it sure seems like you and me are the only ones standing for it!"


Hahaha.....

Watch what you say or think!

Mildred, the church gossip and self-appointed arbiter of the church's morals,
kept sticking her nose in the other members' private lives.
Church members were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough
to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member,
of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the
town's only bar one afternoon.

She commented to George and others that everyone seeing it there would
know what he was doing.

George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked
away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny; he said nothing.

Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house...
and left it there all night!


Thanks, Elvira.

Ladies, this is for you!

Ladies, remember that being independent begins with yourself. Being independent does not necessarily mean that you don't need people. You can be around people and share yourself in a way without dependency. I'm independent because I'm aligned thoughts and my feelings,thus, I have already established my purpose to pursue the best person I can be. You don't need goals to get through life, just be logical, reasonable and cautious of the world that revolves around you. For example, think of your life as a "government", you have to create certain standards to stabilize your domain and peace within yourself. Then you regulate this foundation by thinking with your mind and invade your head with positivity.

However, you may not fully comprehend the analogy I am imposing, but once you have come to the realization that YOU are your own person, and everyone else around you is out to make ends meet, then you are already become independent. Independence won't always provide you strength, I have plenty of weaknesses, but it's up to you how you handle those weaknesses. My weakness are people. Though I am not a people person, I feel for them, I deep compassion when someone is need, I give my world to them. I don't try to fix their world, but I infect them with my positivity. Try it, it makes life easier and far more simple.

On the contrary, start with being emotionally independent, then you can progress to be financially, environmentally independent. Only think about what is BEST for YOU. Not others. They just read your book, they don't write it like you do. People who judge are not mean, they ARE the judgment that they mask within their negativity. Meaning, they can't do it for themselves, so preach their insecurity by pre-assuming the status of others.

Then, the NEEDS and WANTS begin to play like a broken record in your mind, therefore, it consumes you. This is called reasonable. You begin to start compartmentalizing the importance things for your survival.

***Thanks, JarmaineTV

DON'T HOLD BACK YOURSELF!

"Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm Possible'!" - Audrey Hepburn

Here's some advice that I love: People are always going to talk - may as well give them something FIERCE to talk about!
 

Don't hold back yourself! Do your thing!

INDEPENDENCE...I LOVE IT

According to my previous post entitled “Enlightment”, I stated that I was contemplating moving out to my own place. Well, I just did that early this year. It is coolJ. Of course I will not tell you the exact place I am staying- for security reasons. I will, however, let you know how it is like living by yourself.

 At the outskirts of Nairobi, is a small apartment- a bed-sitter, my place. I really struggled looking for it. I had, however, made up my mind that I had to find my own place before I completed school (Yes, am finally done with my undergrad). Going back to my parents’ house was not an option. It was not even in my mind.

I moved my stuff to my small apartment as soon as I acquired it. I bought a bed and a mattress (-very expensive). I paid my bills- electricity and water (both pre-paid). What I really liked (and still do) about my house was the hot shower. I couldn’t wait to take a shower from my house.

My first night in my house was cool. I had managed to buy a TV on that day and I was eager to watch and take the hot shower. I was very scared though. I was worried about my security (am no longer scared, I have cool neighbours who look out for each other).  I slept at 10:00pm. The night was great, I had a goodnight sleep. It was far much better than the nights at school or even at my parents’ house.

The first morning was cool. It was a public holiday and I was not in a hurry to wake up, although I still woke up early (I am a morning person). I took the hot shower- lasted for around 45 minutesJ. Unfortunately, I had not bought cooking gas and I had to go to a restaurant for breakfast.

Basically, I love the independence…I love the fact that I can do that which I want to do whenever I want to do. There’s no one to bug me about their stuff or doing my duties. I love the fact that I have my own space and my own privacy.  I can decide what I’ll have for lunch or supper. If I leave money on the table, I will still find there.

If I want to stay up late watching TV or studying, I can do so without interfering with anyone. I pay for my own bills and I buy my own assets. I don’t depend on anyone (except for God).

I make my own rules in my house. I decide what should be done and what should not be done in my house. One of the rules of my house that I like is: "No alien is allowed in my house- not even a plumber; I will do it myself". I am in control of my house. I actually bought a book titled "Total Control" by David Baldacci. It is the book that I am currently reading. I love the book.

All this independence comes at a cost. The costs include the fact that I have to pay rent and other utilities. I have to take care of my health by eating healthy food and dressing warmly. I still want to further my studies - that means that I have to save for my education-my future. At the same time, I need more assets for my house. This is where the Accounting, Economics and Finance I learnt in school comes in. I have to budget for every single dime that I have. That is not fun at allL.

If I leave my house in a mess, I will still find it in the same state. There's no one to pick after me. Its ok. I like that.

I had mosquitoes disturbing me during the initial stages of my independence. I have, however, sorted that out...I have a mosquito net. No more mosquitoes.

 With all the pros and cons that come with independence, heck I love it. I love it. I enjoy every day of my life. I know that I have only one life and that it is too short, I have to live it to the fullest.