I am not posting this story as a complaint, neither am I posting it to portray my attitude or thoughts on marriage. In fact, I think marriage is beautiful if you involve God in your marriage and if you are with the right person.
The reason for posting this story on my blog is to let ladies know that they have their own lives and that they should not give up their careers in favour of their husbands "to support the family". This story contains twists and turns which show how culture, patriarchy and law enforcement all work against women. This story is best if read together with this court case.
Learn ladies! Learn!
In June 2002, Wendi Wangui
and Kevin Latema were married in a colourful church ceremony. The
couple settled down in Nairobi’s Lang’ata estate, in a house which Kevin had
been renting. Wendi, though educated and a graduate of the University of
Nairobi, had opted to become a house wife so that she could take care of her
husband and the children the couple hoped to have.
In March of 2003, while
expecting the couple’s first child, Wendi left the matrimonial home and moved
in with her sister, Wangechi, who lived in Westlands. Wendi explained to
Wangechi that she had left her matrimonial home because she feared for her life
and the life of her unborn child. Wendi further explained that the night before
she left her home, Kevin had arrived home late in the night and had demanded
that she prepare his dinner. She had done so and proceeded to bed. Kevin had
followed her shortly thereafter and demanded his conjugal rights. Wendi
had declined, saying that the she had been to the doctor’s that day as she had
experienced some pain in her abdomen, and the doctor had ordered her to rest
and avoid sexual contact because it seemed she had developed some complications
with her pregnancy. Kevin had ignored her and proceeded to force himself on
her. Wendi had started experiencing some bleeding during the night and
Kevin had rushed her to hospital, where she was treated and discharged in the
early hours of the morning. However, Wendi said she had left because she feared
Kevin. She explained that Kevin had slapped her and shoved her around
several times, especially when she questioned him about the family’s finances.
Wangechi then called their
mother and explained the situation. Wendi’s mother advised her to go back
to her matrimonial home as it was not good to desert her husband. Her
mother said she would talk to Wendi’s in-laws so that they could try and help
the couple resolve any issues they were having. Indeed, Wendi’s mother organized
a meeting with Kevin’s mother during which meeting Kevin’s mother had requested
Wendi to move in with her until the baby was born in order to ensure the safety
of both Wendi and the baby. Wendi obliged and moved in with her mother-in-law.
The couple’s son was born safely a few months thereafter and Kevin requested
that Wendi move back in with him, promising to never hit her again. Wendi
agreed and the couple seemed to have resolved any issues that they had.
In July 2004, Kevin, who
worked as an Architect running his own firm won a contractual deal with a
multi-national company to design an office park. This deal brought in a
significant amount of money which enabled Kevin to buy the home in Lang’ata,
which was until then rented. Kevin also bought a 5 acre piece of land in
Kibiku, Ngong’. He sold his old Toyota saloon car and bought a Mercedes for
himself and also a Toyota RAV4 for Wendi.
In 2005, Wendi conceived
again. During the course of her pregnancy, she noticed that Kevin would come
home late several days a week. When she asked him why he had started
coming home late, Kevin slapped her, and told her to mind her own business. Wendi
later found out through mutual friends that Kevin had recently started having
an affair with a woman he worked with, and that Kevin was in fact in the
process of buying an apartment for that woman. Wendi confronted Kevin
with this information, and Kevin had physically assaulted her, leaving her with
a bruised face and a broken arm. Wendi had called her sister Wangechi,
who rushed her to hospital. The doctors confirmed that Wendi had also lost
the pregnancy. Wendi had gone to the police station in Lang’ata and
reported the assault by Kevin. Although the police held Kevin for several
hours and questioned him, he was not charged with any offence. Wendi went
back to the matrimonial home and took her son and moved in with her sister. She
stayed with her sister for several months, until Kevin’s mother intervened and
begged Wendi to return to her matrimonial home, promising to make sure that
Kevin would “behave”. Wendi agreed and moved back in with her husband.
In 2006, the couple started
constructing a huge palatial home on the piece of land Kevin had bought in
Kibiku. The home was completed in 2007 and the couple moved in, while opting to
rent out their premises in Lang’ata. The couple was blessed with another child,
this time a daughter in 2008. Wendi had also started doing some farming on
two acres of land in Kibiku, making a monthly income of Kshs. 50,000 from her
farming activities. Wendi was also in charge of ensuring that the rental
property in Lang’ata was in good order and that rent was collected. By
2011, partly due to the income which Wendi was bringing in, the couple had
acquired more rental properties in Ngong’ town, comprising of a block of 8
flats on a one acre plot, which was bought at a cost of Kshs. 15 million.
In January 2014, Wendi
discovered that Kevin was still carrying on an affair with the woman from his
office. She asked him why he had not ended the affair and Kevin had
punched her on the face, breaking her nose. Wendi took the children and
resolved to end the marriage. She moved in with her sister for some time, but
when one of the rental units she managed became vacant, she occupied that unit.
She and Kevin lived separately until January 2015, when Wendi decided to
move to court to officially file for a divorce. Wendi wanted the court to
award her full custody the couple’s two children and half of the couple’s
property. In June 2015, she was granted a legal separation, but the
divorce was not yet finalized. In September, 2015, angry and upset that Wendi
was tearing their family apart, Kevin had gone to Wendi’s home to talk to her.
Kevin had found Wendi alone in the home and he then begged her to forgive him.
Wendi turned him away and asked him to leave. Kevin insisted that Wendi
was still his wife and had demanded his conjugal rights. Although Wendi
categorically refused, Kevin had still proceeded to have intercourse with her. Wendi
reported the incident to the police, and had wanted the police to charge Kevin
with rape. The police said they could not charge Kevin, as he had not committed
an offence.
Wendi was shocked by the
response the police gave her. She moved back in with her sister, saying that
she did not feel safe living by herself as she feared what Kevin might do to
her. In November 2015, Wendi met a gentleman named Paul and the two developed a
whirlwind romance. Wendi says she thinks she has found true love and wants her
divorce from Kevin finalized so that she can settle down with Paul. When Kevin
catches news of the affair, he immediately requests his advocate to contest all
the prayers that Wendi made in her divorce petition and to indicate that Wendi
is to blame for the breakdown of the marriage because she is guilty of
deserting their matrimonial home, and had done so several times during the
subsistence of their marriage, and that she had committed adultery.
If you were Wendi, what could you have done differently?
