Don't Fear, Follow Your Female Intuition.

“There are voices
that want to be heard
so much to mention
but you can't find the words
the scent of magic
the beauty that's been
when love was wilder than the wind…”
The 1988 Roxette song “Listen to Your Heart” attempted to explain it but couldn’t define it. That still, small voice. Our heart. Our intuition. A weird feeling. A gut instinct. Whatever you call it – female intuition has been around since the dawn of time and will live on til the dust of time. I would even go so far as to say that on that fateful morning in the Garden of Eden, Eve must have grabbed the remote and put her intuition on mute; otherwise, she and Adam probably wouldn’t have ever taken a bite out of that infamous apple and we might still be walking around naked. (Or in other words, blame Eve for your Barneys bill!) Time and time and time again, we read stories of women who knew their husbands were cheating with absolutely no evidence…and they were right. Women who canceled flights at the last minute because they had a bad feeling…and the plane later crashed. Women who walked away from a friend or a job or a relationship with no provocation besides “just having a feeling,” and were likely teased mercilessly and doubted and looked at like they were crazy…only to later discover a fundamental flaw in the friend or job or relationship that would have caused them massive amounts of heartache had they not left the party early. So why are we so quick to dismiss this internal voice of ours?
Perhaps because sometimes it’s painful…and inconvenient…and even scary…to heed this voice that is often saying something that we don’t wanna hear.

Some of the strongest women in pop culture history have spoken out on women’s intuition:
“Learn to let your intuition—gut instinct—tell you when the food, the relationship, the job isn’t good for you (and conversely, when what you’re doing is just right).” ~Oprah Winfrey
“I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition. If I go against her, she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely.” ~Kim Basinger
“God made man stronger but not necessarily more intelligent. He gave women intuition and femininity. And, used properly, that combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I've ever met.” ~Farrah Fawcett
So what do you need to look out for? And how do you know you’re following the path of truth and not simply chasing a rabbit trail of suspicion? Here are a few tips on how to follow your inner voice proudly when the world is trying to drown it out loudly:

1) Your intuition IS REAL. Don’t just hear it. Listen to it. If you sense a red flag going up in your mind, STOP, slow down, listen, re-evaluate. It only takes ONE stop sign to make us stop a car…so why does it take numerous red flags to bring a relationship or situation to a halt? If something is nagging at the corners of your mind about a person, place, job, or circumstance…listen to your heart and get to the bottom of what your concern is. And if you can’t get to the bottom of it and you’re still feeling uneasy, walk away. (Better to be safe than sorry.)
2) Your heart talks the truth so your legs can walk the truth. Once you’ve determined why you’re reacting so violently or viscerally to a situation, you must start letting more than your fingers do the walking and exit stage left. If you find out a person is backstabbing you, or a boyfriend is cheating on you, or a situation at work is going to cause you to compromise your values or beliefs, and you still hang around for the fallout…you’re not honoring yourself or your truth. I have found, over and over again, when I don’t heed my internal voice and I move forward anyway, disaster strikes. And there ain’t nothin’ fun about having to put out a fire that I could have stopped before the match was even struck.
3) Like your own fingerprint, no two gut feelings are the same. And not all of them are bad, either. Sometimes, despite all the odds stacked against you, your heart is screaming at you to move forward in faith, because it’s all gonna work out exactly as you envision it. It is in those moments that it is CRUCIAL to follow your heart no matter how dark the night gets and no matter how hard the storm hits. Chase that inner voice til you catch your dream! Some of the most successful people had nothing to go on but a feeling…and look where it got them:
“Faith is a passionate intuition.” ~William Wordsworth
“You must train your intuition - you must trust the small voice inside you which tells you exactly what to say, what to decide.” ~Ingrid Bergman
“Often you have to rely on intuition.” ~Bill Gates
(I don’t know about you, but I’d be willing to bet on Wordsworth, Bergman, and Gates. Just sayin’.)

At the end of the day, to truly live the lives we were meant to live, we have to be willing to walk away from, or walk toward, the things that our hearts are urging us to catch or release, often with no evidence other than our intuition to support our decision. But here’s the thing: It’s impossible to go wrong when you actively, doggedly, ardently follow your heart. More often that not, it takes stepping away from the crowd and charting your own path in order to heed that still, small voice…so if you find yourself alone out there, never fear; it means greatness is near! After all:
“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself.” ~Alan Alda

Should I call it love or childhood confusion?

I was in third grade, 8 years old, when two brothers were transferred to our school. I guess they were twins. Our school had two streams. One of them came to my class and the other one went to the other class.
Apparently, it turned out that the guy that came to my class was academically bright. E was his name.
It was around this time that the soap "Maria de los Angeles" was being aired on national TV. It was the first Mexican soap that I watched and keenly followed, at ages 8 to 9.

I was in grade four (8.5 years old) when I decided to make my first move. I proposed to him to be my boyfriend, and he surely became my boyfriend. (I learnt the proposal tactics from the Mexican soap) > At age 9, we didn't know much. Our love was only about staring at each other. We never hugged, never kissed, and never had sex; we were too young to know about these things. The closest we got to each other was being desk-mates.
I had funny feelings for him, I must confess, feelings that would overwhelm me every time our eyes met. Most people in my class knew about us.
We were in grade seven when I noticed that he was looking at Faith, my classmate, in the same way he used to look at me. I couldn't stand it. I had to let him go, I pushed him to Faith. He actually went to her. It was hurting.  I was disappointed. I made a pledge to myself that I would work very hard in school, outdo him and his competitors. That is actually what happened. I beat him in national exams.
I really loved him. I cried myself out for the next two years while in high school (I always laugh at myself everytime I think about how stupid I must have been). Eventually, I developed new interest for myself - hard work in academics and resilience.
There was no way I would allow any alien to come mess up my feelings again!

If I were asked what I think about E today, I would say appreciation > I thank him for having broken my heart at such an early age. It was during the healing process that I learnt the meaning and the need for hard work in school. What I feel for him: gratitude. I honestly don't know what I saw in him. Currently, he's a good friend.
I would be lying if I said that I haven't had crushes on people > I have had crushes on so many people. I would also be lying if I said that I haven't had the funny feelings for people, I have.
I guess the issue here is that I am too shy to let them know or that I don't have the audacity to make the first move (Goodness! What happened to my 8-year-old self? I miss her!).

I have had aliens making their proposals to me - sometimes I feel like pushing a grenade down their throats. Some of the aliens are nice guys. Sometimes I am tempted to say yes to the nice ones (you know yourselves), but NO. I think that having a boyfriend or a girlfriend would drain too much out of me. I am not ready for a relationship, I guess. Besides, you know I can't stand the male species.

Please note that my experience and encounter with love has absolutely NOTHING to do with my attitude towards men and marriage.
 I am yet to discuss the source of my attitude in another blog-post. Watch out for it.

***Sorry, E. I don't mean to hurt you.


Edit: June 2015- 
E moved on and married a beautiful lady. They now have a lovely daughter. I am happy for him if he's happy in his marriage. ...I don't know if I've moved though :(