Updates

It has been quite a while since I updated my blog, I have been very busy with work... but that doesn't mean that stuff hasn't been happening.

In the past few months, my little sister graduated (YAAAY!). It was more of an achievement for the rest of the family than it was for her. I am so proud of her. I pray that God continues to bless her and to show her His will in her life.

I've been doing a lot of learning and research, especially on Production Sharing Contracts (PSCs) of oil and gas sectors and taxation (especially in African countries) of the same. I have also been doing research on OECD's Base Erosion and Profit Shifting (BEPS) action points in line with Sustainable Development Goals. Exciting stuff! I love and enjoy my job and research.

On love and relationships, my friends and relatives have been acting all concerned and they keep asking me who THE GUY is and when the d-day is. They are always quick to remind me that time is running out and that I have a ticking biological clock.

To all by friends and relatives that are concerned about my biological clock: I serve, believe and trust the Author of Time. He is not subject to time. I am subject to Him. He is the controller of time. He has the ability to stop, fast-forward, pause, or rewind at any given time.

In any case, I am not sure if I'm ready to settle down. I keep praying for God's perfect will.

Doing the Right Thing

I believe in doing the right thing.

So often, easy and quick solutions present themselves to us in our dearest moment of need. 

Nothing justifies a compromise; not unmet financial obligations, debt, threat, or even family.

One of the hardest things to do in life is to do the right thing. What you think is the right thing; not what you friends, family, teachers, boss and society thinks is the right thing.

Often, we have a little voice in your head that tells what the right thing is. Or a gut feeling.

Now, why should you do the right thing? Here are three excellent reasons:

1. You tend to get what you give.

By doing the right thing you tend to get the same things back. Give value to people, help them and they will often want to help you and give you value in some form. Not everyone will do it but many will. Not always right away but somewhere down the line. Things tend to even out. Do the right thing, put in the extra effort and you tend to get good stuff back. Don’t do it and you tend to get less good stuff back from the world.

2. To raise your self-esteem.

This is a really important point. When you don’t do the right thing you are not only sending out signals out into your world. You are also sending signals to yourself. When you don’t do the right thing you don’t feel good about yourself. You may experience emptiness or get stuck in negative thought loops. It’s like you are letting yourself down. You are telling yourself that you can’t handle doing the right thing. To not do the right thing is a bit like punching yourself in the stomach.

3. To avoid self-sabotage.

A powerful side effect of not doing the right thing is that you give yourself a lack of deservedness. This can really screw up you and your success. If you don’t do the right thing in your life then you won’t feel like you deserve the success that you may be on your way towards or experiencing right now. So you start to self-sabotage, perhaps deliberately or through unconscious thoughts.

If you on some level don’t think that you are a person who deserves the success you want then you will probably find a way to sabotage that success. You may rationalize it as being about something else or what someone else did. But oftentimes it’s just you standing in your own way. By doing the right thing your can raise your self-esteem and feel like a person who deserves his/her success.

How to do it

Here are a few suggestions that can hopefully help you to do the right thing more often.

Review the reasons why you are doing it.

Whenever you feel unsure about doing the right thing remind yourself of the powerful reasons above (or any other that you can come up with). They might give you that extra push of motivation you need to spring into action.

Go for improvement. Not perfection.

I’m not saying you will do the right thing all the time. I certainly don’t. But I’m saying that we can strive for gradual improvement. If you for instance do the right thing 10 percent of the time right now then try to doing it 20 percent of the time. And then 30 percent. Or you can try to do the right thing at as many opportunities as you find this week. Try some stuff and see works best for you.

My point is just to not get stuck in thinking about perfection or being some kind of saint. This can paralyse you from taking any action at all. Or leave you with negative feelings despite doing the right thing many, many times (since you are still not feeling like you are not quite perfect).

If you seldom do what you feel/think is the right thing now then you will probably not be able to change this completely over the weekend. It might take some time.

Just do it.

The more you think about these things, the more often you tend to come up with reasons to not do it. You need to think but not over think since that often traps you in analysis paralysis. To raise your self-esteem and get a spiral of positive action spinning in your world and with the people around you need to start moving and take action.

Taking the route of doing the right thing takes more effort and can be more painful. It’s often seemingly the harder thing to do.

But when you understand how you are hurting yourself it gets a lot harder to just avoid doing the right thing. The perceived advantages of not doing the right thing – such as it being easier – tend to lose their power and are replaced with a more clearer understanding of what you are doing to yourself and others.

Taking this – perhaps a little less traveled – path is a lot more rewarding than taking the easy way out. Both for you and for the world around you.

Another one for you!

Dear Future Husband,

I don’t want to kiss a thousand frogs before I meet you. I don’t want to throw myself to just anyone anymore, because no one can compare to you.  I’m not perfect, and I haven’t always treasured what was supposed to be meant for us. I haven’t always been the wisest when it comes to my heart and my temple, but I’ve changed my old ways. Now, I’m holding my body, heart,and soul closely, and I’m willing to wait. Why? Because I love you, and I realize that you are worth the wait. I promise not to let my selfishness get in the way of that any longer.

Sometimes I wonder what you look like, and pray that God would give me a sign. He works in mysterious ways, but not how we think it ought to be. I asked him to show you to me a certain way, but I know every love story is different, and the one He’s writing for us will be unique. I wonder, do you ever think about me? Do you ask God a thousand questions like I do, like where we’ll meet, what’s the first thing we’ll say to each other, and how we’ll know it’s His will for us to be married? Whatever He decides, I can’t wait to meet you, and hope you feel the same way about me too.

Love,

Your future wife,

 Judy

Don't Hold Back Yourself - Part II

To live life to the fullest, you'll need to ignore what other people think and be what you want to be. Wear what you want to wear. Say what you want to say (but please, don't offend anyone). Do what you want to do.

 Only it's not that easy, because whether we should or not, we do care what people think of us, we do care what people say about us. We even care what strangers might think of us. But what kind of life is this? A kind where we are all hidden behind a mask and we all want to get out but can't. 

It's a kind that should be demolished and replaced with a fair world full of joy, unprejudiceness, and health. But it's never that easy...

Here's some advice that I love: People are always going to talk - you may as well give them something FIERCE to talk about!
 

Don't hold back yourself! Do your thing!

 

 

 

Still Waiting...

 Another Letter to My Future Husband


Dear Future Husband,

I really don’t know how to start. The wait is really hard. I feel depressed frequently and upset when i see many people date. I long to meet you someday for I am waiting for God to transform me completely.

I can be very insecure and emotional. That could be the reason I haven’t met you yet is because I need more of HIM than you. I am praying for you that the enemy doesn’t deceive you. I am soaking myself and trying to spend more of my time with HIM, hoping that I would be more like Him. I have a great desire to be a man after His own heart. My mind at present is not according to His will. I have to get rid of so many fantasies which are not worth speaking of. 

 Please do pray that I must meet you as God wants me to meet you, I certainly believe that God has thought of us together. Please don’t rush into giving yourself to another person. Everyday many distractions come on my side too. I am constantly thinking of you. One day when we meet I will give myself to you completely. I will tell you how many times MY SAVIOR Has kept me safe. Maybe it’s because you have prayed for me or your parents have prayed for me. 

Thank you so much for waiting for me. The Lord is preparing our hearts. 

Pray for me as I am praying for you.


Your Future Wife,
Judy

As I Wait...

 A Letter to My Future Husband

 To my future husband,

Sing me the Song of Songs with your love. Love me with the fierceness and tenderness that reflects the love of Our Father.

 Unite your heart with Him, so that when our hearts meet, the three become one. Push me to be the woman God is calling me to be. Push me, but be gentle. Push me, but wrap me in your arms when I fail.

 I want to love you with the love of God. I want my heart to be so lost in His love that when our hearts meet they are one in HIM. I want your happiness and well being, even now before I know you. I promise to love you with all I have and to give for you daily.

I will try to forgive when I can and try harder when it seems I can’t. I promise to stand by you every day. 
Forgive me if I fail. Be patient with my faults. Love me at my best and my worst. 

I may get impatient waiting, but I know that as I wait, you are on a journey with God. If you get impatient, don’t give up on me. I’m coming, just know that as you wait God is forming me into the woman He designed.
 
 Please keep me in your prayers as I keep you in mine.


Love you already,
Your future wife,

Judy.


PS: I pray that YOU'll really read this letter.

Short, but important.

Sometimes the most important things in life are not at all. People who make you feel loved and cared for are the most important!

I have come to realize that nothing in this life matters as much as love.

Work, education, knowledge, business... and all other things are important are not as important as people. People are very important. I love people.

Purpose to love someone today.

Love, it is free. It is the easiest thing to do.

Happiness!

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.
His bed was next to the room's only window.
The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end.
They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on
vacation..
Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color
and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.
Although the other man could not hear the band -he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with
descriptive words.
Days, weeks and months passed.One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body
of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.
She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window.The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left
him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.
It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this
window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'
Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.
'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present.

Funny moments in class

Today (28/02/2014) in management class:

We were learning about how to prepare departmental and organizational budgets and how manage your subordinates with regards to budgets.

Instructor: Make sure that your employees put their figures in the budget.

My lovely and beautiful desk-mate was absent-minded… but she managed to hear this statement. The problem is that she heard the instructor say: Make sure that your employees put their fingers in the budget. She interrupts the instructor and here’s their conversation:

Desk-mate: Excuse me sir, why should they put their fingers in the budget? Shouldn’t it be their minds?

Instructor: (Deeply concerned that he probably didn’t hear what she said). Excuse me?

Desk-mate: I think they should put their minds, not their fingers in the budget.

(The whole class bursted in laughter.)

My desk-mate was shocked, she was wondering why everyone was laughing. She tried asking me why we were laughing, I couldn’t tell her with all the laughter that was in class.

About 20 minutes later after the incident, she asked me why we were laughing. When I whispered and explained  it to her, she bursted into uncontrollable laughter: alone in a quiet class, everyone looked at her and wondered what was wrong with her.

You made my day, desk-mate!

I love you.

Another funny moment:

Earlier this week in a Micro-economics class, some guy interrupted our lovely lecturer to correct a mathematical expression she had written on the board. The problem was that his correction was “1+0=0”... that was what he thought. Of course our beautiful lecturer was right: "1+0=1"

I WILL WAIT FOR YOU

So it seemed that it was cool, for everyone to be in a relationship but me.
So I took matters into my own hands, and ended up with him.
Him who displayed the characteristics of a cheater, a liar, an abuser, & a thief.

So why was I surprised when he broke into my heart?
I called 911, but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abetting,
Because it was me who let him in…
Claiming we were “just friends”.
It was already decided for me by the first date, that even if he wasn’t...
I was going to make him THE ONE

You know, I was tired of being alone.
And I simply made up in my mind, that it was about that time,
So I decided to drag him along for the ride,
Cause I was always the bridesmaid & never the bride.
A virgin in the physical, but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat..
Who was tired of the wait!
So I was going to make him The One.

He had a… form of Godliness… but not much.
But hey, hey I can change him! So I’ll TAKE him, I mean he’s close… enough.
Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter, not knowing the value of its use to me.
Arteries so clogged with my will, it blocked His will from flowing through me.
So, I thank Christ that His blood pressure gave this heart an attack,
That flat-lined my obscured vision, put me flat on my back
Through my ignorance He saw,
Through my sternum He sawed & cracked open my chest
To transplant Psalm 51:10
A new heart & a renewed right spirit within.
So now I fully understand,
Better yet I thoroughly comprehend,
How much I need to wait… for You.

See, the bad thing is that I knew he wasn’t you from the beginning..
Cause in the beginning was the Word
And he didn’t even sound or shine like Your Son
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,
And all he could whisper was sweet, empty nothings –
Which meant NOTHING.
He couldn’t even pray when I needed him to,
Asking him to fast would be absurd!
So forget about being cleansed & washed with water through the Word…
But I know You..
You were already praying for me.
Even never having met me,
Let me assure you, I will wait for you.

I will no longer date, socialize or communicate with carbon copies of you
To appease my boredom or to quench my thirsty desire for attention
And short-lived compliments from ‘sorta kindas’.
You know….
He ‘sort kinda’ right, but ‘sorta kinda’ wrong?
His first name LUKE,
His last name WARM.

I, I won’t settle for false companionship
I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms,
Attempting to find some closeness,
But never feeling so far apart cause, I just wanna be held
Cause ”all I gotta do is Say” No!
No more ‘almost sessions’ of ‘almost coming close’
Passing winks & buying drinks,
And "I’ma, I’ma, I’ma flirt"
Who flirts with the ideology of,
‘Can you just tell me how much I can get away with this and still be saved?’

NO more.
I’ll stay in my bed, alone, and write poems, about how I will wait for you.
He won’t even come close,
Our fingers won’t even interlock
We won’t even exchange breath
Cause I have thoughts that I’ve "saved as" in a file that God has only equipped you to open.

I will no longer get weighted down,
From so-called friends & family talks,
About the concern for my biological clock
When I serve the Author of Time.
Who is NOT subject to time,
But I’M subject to Him,
He has the ability to STOP, FAST FORWARD, PAUSE, or REWIND at any given time…
So if we could role play,
You would be Abraham & I would be Sara
Or you can be Isaac & I can be Rebecca – a servant’s answered prayer
I am bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh,
Made up of your rib Adam!
And once we meet, like electrons
I will be bound to your nucleus, completely indivisible atom.

We even speak the same math: 1 + 1 + 1 = 3, which really equals 1 if you add Him.
We were all created in His image,
But you have the ability to reflect, project & even detect the Son.
If I were to explain what you looked like,
You would have to look like a star,
A son of the Son..
I would gain energy simply from the light on me.
I would need you , in order to complete my photosynthesis
I await your Revelation, but once again from the Genesis, I will wait for you.

And I will know you…
Because when you speak I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom,
Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses,
Your faith will remind me of Abraham,
Your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel,
Your inspiration will remind me of Paul,
Your heart for God will remind me of David,
Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah,
Your integrity will remind me of Joseph,
And your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples,
But your ability to love selflessly and unconditionally will remind me of Christ.
But I won’t need to identify you by any special Matthews or any special Marks,
Cause His word will be tatted all over your heart.

And you will know me, and you will find me,
Where… the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth.
Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary,
Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hanna.
I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31… waiting for you.


But to my Father..
My Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth
Only if you should see fit…
I desire Your will above mine,
So even if you call me to a life of singleness,
My heart is content with YOU – the One who was sent.
YOU are the greatest love story ever told,
The greatest story ever known
You are forever my judge & I’m forever Your witness
And I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business
Oh, I will always be Yours!
And I will always wait for You Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning
More than the watchmen wait for the morning…

I WILL WAIT.

Am indebted to Janette- IKZ

We Are All Equal In God's Eyes

I passed through a recreational park sometime last week. It was a cool and chilly morning, the sun had not come up to pave way for the beautiful day it was supposed to be. There were very few people in the park.

From far, I could hear the voice of a young boy singing praise songs. His voice was coming from the direction I was walking towards. It did not take long before I got to see his face. He was about 9 years old. He had a chiselled-angular smiley face, shaggy hair and a button nose. He seemed to have spent his night at that particular spot. I could see that was freezing but still happy… he was clapping and singing joyfully as if his life depended on it. He was disabled. He could not walk. 

That evening, I used same route on my way home. The boy was at the same spot I had left him, only that this time, he was sleepy after spending a long day in the scorching hot sun. He was struggling to keep awake; his head would go as low as 2 inches to the ground.  

As I walked past him, many thoughts ran through my mind:

• God does care about all of us, equally, regardless of where we are in life.
• We are all equal in the eyes of God, from that boy in the park to the World Bank president, to Bill Gates. We are all equal… and God doesn’t love any one much more than the other… God loves Uhuru Kenyatta (my president) in the same magnitude as he loves that boy and in the same way that He loves me.

Isn’t that deep?

Public Service

I have lost in the debate with myself on whether or not this should appear in my blog.

I need to make some things clear before starting out on this post’s agenda. 

First, thanks to all of you that have been faithful to this blog. I am humbled by your continued support. Second, I take your views and ideas seriously, and that is why am writing this. I acknowledge that much of the information in this blog is personal and it is after much thought that I disclose any information. I will continue updating it, with everything that I think is OK to be disclosed to the public. If I omit any information or implement some of your requests, then the theme of my blog will be defeated.
I recently went through a drastic change in my life. I left a GREAT career to serve the public. I don’t regret it whatsoever.
My service to the public began on a high note: Paramilitary training. In the next few months, I will be sharing my experience at a military camp.

This is what I wrote in my journal on day 2 at the camp:

It is 1940hrs and today is the second day of my training. I am very tired and almost every part of my body is aching… I can barely write properly. It has been two days of strenuous exercises. All I can think about is resting and sleeping.
We are supposed to wake up at 0300hrs every day for the morning run. It is the toughest part of the training.
Honestly, all I think of when am in the camp is nothing. I live every moment at a time, and pray about it as it comes.
Oh God, please give me the grace to go through this to the end. I will always tell people of your grace if you help me out on this one. Please help me so that I may be in good health, strong and successful in this course. I love you God, in Jesus’ Name, Amen.

As I reminisce about the cold mornings and the morning run, one of our physical training instructors, Corporal (CPL) Makokha, comes into mind.  Every day at 0300 hrs, we would have a mini-parade where our physical count would be done (I will give details about these mini-parades in another post. At that time, I felt like CPL Makokha was a rough, lethal, merciless and a ruthless trainer (*sorry, that’s exactly what I felt at that particular time).
 He would make us run all the way uphill, in the dark, on the rocks, whether you fall into pot-holes or not, he didn’t care … you simply had to run. “Nani huyo anatembea, wewe…wewe!… nani huyo anatembea” (Who’s that walking, you… you!... who’s that walking) were the words he would say every day. I didn’t like him so much at that time. 

I need to stop typing, duty calls. I will continue with more stories from the camp in the near future.

Photo of CPL Makokha and I on a walk-rehearsal day (OBMS):

Watch out for more paramilitary stories.