Be a first place girl, not a just in case girl

Most of us have read “He’s Just Not That Into You,” or at least seen the movie. We know the rules. We know the score. We can weigh in on our friends’ love lives with perfect clarity, giving them advice, showing them the error of their ways; but yet, when it comes to our own lives…and to that ONE guy…the one that makes us weak in the knees…the one that can pluck at our heart strings with both hands tied behind his back…the one that we hear the opening chords of “Take My Breath Away” every time he’s within a 50 mile radius…our girl power goes out the window faster than you can say “I am woman, hear me roar.” This guy is our blind spot. Our strongest weakness. Our kryptonite. Our Justin Case.

Justin Case (more commonly known as “Just In Case”) is a smooth operator. He knows how to push our buttons. He knows how to get under our skin. He knows how to offer just enough of himself to keep us hooked, sometimes for months and even years at a time. He doesn’t really want us to stay, but he doesn’t really want us to go. He doesn’t ever come out and say yes, but he also doesn’t ever say no. No matter how black or how white we need the terms of our relationship to be, we are willing to stay in a perpetual state of gray just to keep him around. We quite obligingly allow ourselves to take up residence in Relationship Purgatory because we’re not willing to give up the ghost and move on, but we’re also not willing to give up the most and sign on for what could be a life of always being second place. And therein lies the crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic conundrum of Justin Case.

Here’s the bad news: Justin Case will be perfectly content to keep you around, indefinitely, JUST IN CASE something “better” never comes along. And here’s the real kicker: his definition of “something better” usually involves someone that is clearly inferior to the fabulousness that is YOU. For whatever reason, somewhere along the way, he started to see you as the “safe” choice, the in-between girl, the backup plan. Not because you are any of those things but because he is incapable of seeing you clearly enough to realize the diamond he has standing right in front of him. Perhaps his blinders are there out of fear, or immaturity, or (as much as we hate to admit this) maybe he simply prefers Jello to Crème Brulee and no matter how many times you hand him the menu, he’s going to keep choosing Jello. Whatever his reasoning, do you really want to spend another second waiting around for him to realize how incredible you are? Or do you want to make today the day you move on to someone who wants to rock your world, and wants to blow your mind, and will never hand your glass slipper to the wicked stepsister when he has Cinderella standing right in front of him?

Here’s the good news: You’re not a “just in case” girl. You’re a first place girl. When you realize you're worth so much more, it won't be so hard to finally close that door! You have to know when to say when to what might have been and get in line with what can still be. The hardest part is realizing his part in your story is over. Yes, you were crazy about him. No, you can’t just make your feelings disappear like magic. And yes, it’s probably going to hurt for awhile. But here’s the best part: You are stronger than even your strongest weakness. Know your power, lady! There is no one that you are not strong enough to walk away from, so put on your best stilettos and start walking! If he can’t say yes, it’s time for you to say no and GO. The time for hesitation is over. The Future is waiting; and it will never fight with the Past to get your attention. And once you've made the decision to move on, don't look back. You will never find your Future in the rearview mirror.

Ultimately, Justin Case might have been one of those fun tunes to hum along to for awhile, but you can only sing the chorus over and over for so long before you realize the record is skipping; never moving back but also never moving forward. It’s time to stop singing the chorus and start rewriting the verses. Remember: Mr. Right will recognize the music of your heart and sing along to a tune that could never be heard by Mr. Wrong. So go ahead, First Place Girl. Rock his world. In life and in love, there are no points for second place. Mark this night as the night you moved on from Justin Case.

Domestic Violence: Consider The Kids!

This is a poem about a girl-child who sees her parents fight. She's just talking to both of them, in so much pain. I understand her and her pain. Ladies, consider your kids... don't wait for the tragedy. Avoid the violence by keeping-off men!

Momma please stop crying, I can't stand the sound
Your pain is painful and its tearin' me down
I hear glasses breakin as I sit up in my bed
I told dad you didn't mean those nasty things you
said

You fight about money, bout me and my brother
And this I come home to, this is my shelter
It ain't easy growin up in World War III
Never knowin what love could be, you'll see
I don't want love to destroy me like it has done
my family

Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't
leave

Daddy please stop yellin, I can't stand the sound

Make mama stop cryin, cuz I need you around
My mama she loves you, no matter what she says
its true
I know that she hurts you, but remember I love
you, too

I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away
Don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have
no choice, no way
It ain't easy growin up in World War III
Never knowin what love could be, well I've seen
I don't want love to destroy me like it did my
family


In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, let's act like it comes
naturally
I don't wanna have to split the holidays
I don't want two addresses
I don't want a step-brother anyways
And I don't want my mom to have to change her
last name

In our family portrait we look pretty happy
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, act like it goes naturally

(I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't
leave)
Remember that the night you left you took my
shining star?


Mom will be nicer
I'll be so much better, I'll tell my brother
Oh, I won't spill the milk at dinner
I'll be so much better, I'll do everything right
I'll be your little girl forever
I'll go to sleep at night

Thanks, P!NK

Women, The World is Waiting For You!

As women you have so many unique gifts that uplift and inspire.

The world needs you now more than ever.

And the dreams you have are planted deep within your heart by Life itself for a reason.
Your responsibility is not to make them happen but simply to say “Yes”.
Along the journey to your dreams fulfillment you will face challenges that test you.
In these moments things can sometimes seem tough. It can be easy to lose hope. You might sometimes wonder if your dreams will ever happen. You may even consider abandoning your dreams altogether, feeling as though you have given everything and have yet to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
These are the moments that it is easy to give up.
These are the moments most people give in.
But these are the very moments to LIVE everything you know deep in your heart.
As women one of your gifts is your profound intuition. You sense, see and feel things beyond the physical. People may call you crazy, unreasonable, unrealistic. But know that nothing revolutionary was created by dreaming small and buying into limitations.
You have that magical ability to breathe love into something and give it life.
There will be no shortage of people who will tell you what can or cannot be done. Most of the people that discourage your dreams have never done what you feel called to do. If you listen to the naysayers, you will live an existence of mediocrity. But if you follow your Soul’s calling you will fly on the wings of synchronicity.
It takes true courage to follow your dreams in this world that tries to shake you down to live in fear and survival.
If you are facing one of those challenging moments in life, but feel your dream to be truly authentic to your heart. Then you must commit, continue and trust bigger than your fears.
Your dreams were given to you for a reason.
Often you are given a dream and and it burns so deeply in your heart because that dream is not just about you. It is a bigger vision of the Universe being birthed through you to impact and inspire many.
Before every breakthrough there is often a breakdown. Before the dawn there is the darkness. But if you persist, the sun will rise again no matter how dark it may seem. Spring will follow winter. Behind the clouds the sun is always shining. Even if you cannot see it right now.
Even if you can’t see how your dream will happen, there is an Intelligence of Life that knows.
Let the Light of your Soul guide you. It knows. It is always ON. Let your Soul lead you to your goal.
Trust it.
In those quiet moments of challenge, you might think that it would be so much easier if you didn’t have a burning dream at all, then you could just go on with your life.
But know that:
-The journey that your dream takes you on is part of the reward itself. And who you become in the process is the evolutionary gift.
- Giving up on your dream might seem like an easier way. But in reality if your dream has meaning to you, the pain in denying it is a excruciating. In denying your authentic dream, a part of you will die.
When you keep the faith, your faith will keep you moving. Then the wings of Grace will carry you forward. Support from unseen and unexpected sources will rise to meet you.
So:
1- Acknowledge and commit to your dream. FULLY
2- Spend time everyday taking action towards your dream. CONSISTENTLY.
3- Surround yourself with positive people that believe in your dreams. TOTALLY.
4- Find small ways to live your dreams daily. CREATIVELY.
5- Surrender the fulfillment of your dreams to the creativity and perfect timing of the universe. TRUSTINGLY.
Commit.
Continue.
Create.
The universe is already CONSPIRING the fulfillment of your dreams.
The world is waiting for you.
Now.
Love.Now


Thanks, Kute.

What are you living for?

I agree, am not perfect. I, too, have weaknesses...for instance: I don't believe in marriage and sometimes I don't even believe in love.
I came across some girl and for sure she gave me a piece of her mind concerning my views. I'll share with you all that I can remember.

"What are you living for? Life is too short not to love. People who are heart-broken will always tell you how bad it is to be in a relationship but they'll not tell you how they felt when they were in the relationship. Continue pursuing your career and continue assuming about the existence of love but one day, it will find you when you are not looking. It will sweep you off your feet."

This is just all that I can remember. This girl said alot that left me thinking: "What am I living for, really?" I will reserve the answer
to myself, but I want you to give an honest answer to this question: What are you living for?

Love your spouse now, not when its too late!

This story really touched my heart. You should read this and also share it with your friends.

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death  do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.