Friends

Written on 1st November, 2012.

I have been staying at a guest house/lodge for quite some time now. I have developed links and friendships with some of the managers that work there. They teach me Afrikaan, always make me look forward to see them every morning.

I have, in particular, bonded with Retha. A very beautiful and lovely lady. I love her eyes, her opinion towards issues of life, her stories and her willingness to teach me Afrikaan. I also love it that she is a lady after God's heart, spiritual lady.

 This is what happened this morning with Retha:

I told her that I would be leaving for Kenya tonight. She became all mushy, and stretched her hands towards me in an attempt to hug me. She hugged me, tightly (for around 45secs to 1 minute), and told me that she'll miss me. While I was in her arms, I could feel the warmth in her heart. I could also feel the love & vulnerability in the hug. I, for once in a very long time, felt the love of a mother (I have never been very close to my mother). I can still feel it right now, 3 hours later.

Ooh, how I pray that I'll give such kind of love to my children, biological or adopted.

On vulnerability: I think that this is what I fear most... being vulnerable to someone you deeply love is one thing that I really fear. Its so easy to be heart-broken when you are vulnerably in love.
 I love being in control of my heart, feelings and life.

I just had to write this down while I still feel this great feeling.

God bless you, Retha...

Women are the toughest creatures, ever!

 I did a lot of travelling this weekend. I travelled to Namanga… in a shuttle. On my way, I observed Maasai men their traditional attire, sitted by the roadside and along corridors of shopping centers (I recall a Critical and Creative Thinking lecturer’s story about an old Maasai man who had a son in the USA. The son sent his father 7 underwear garments… each for one day of the week. He was so proud of his son, and he wanted to show-off his son’s gift. On the first Sunday, after receiving the underwear garments, he wore one of them and took it off that evening, before going to bed. On Monday-a local market day- he woke up in a hurry to get his favourite sitting-spot in the market. He forgot to put on the Monday underwear. He got his favourite spot, and spread his legs, so that everyone would see what he had put on. Everyone peeped to see what he had to show, and with pride, he kept telling them “Look carefully because I have seven of these. I’ll be in another one tomorrow”).

Back to the story about men sitting and idling around. While the Maasai men idled in the sun, their women were busy building houses (Maasais call them Manyatta), trekking long distances to get just 20 litres of water. Their women were feigning for their families.  We would see them busy making ornaments for sale and doing odd jobs…just to make ends meet. They are responsible for their families. One more thing: If a man in the Maasai community doesn’t have an expectant wife, then he is not considered to be man enough. Therefore, most wives were pregnant, even as much as they were busy looking out for their husbands and kids.

Why does life have to be this unfair to women? Does it have to be this much of a challenge, just because one was born with a vagina a woman? I vividly remember being irritated by this situation and I also remember telling one of the passengers in the shuttle that I thank God I was not born a Maasai because if I was a Maasai, I’d have been a badly-behaved woman. I wouldn’t have settled for less (Please note that am not whining about being born a woman, am only raising my concern about how life is unfair to the well-behaved women).

 On a more personal level, I had my own share of “female misfortunes” this morning…especially with today being a Monday. My red friends visited me yesterday, after delaying their schedule by a day. I was prepared to have a rigorous warm and comforting shower in the morning. I got an unpleasant shock when I woke up to darkness. There was no power and  I was late.  I had to take an ice-cold shower, with my red friends made it worse with the pain in the cold. I didn’t like it. Only God knows the status of my house when I left it. I didn’t get time to clean-up my house.  It was in a mess. I was almost cursing for being born a woman.

Last weekend, I went swimming and made a friend in the process.  Margaret, is her name. A beautiful  and charming young woman.  She’s the lifeguard at the swimming pool. She told me her story: She got pregnant of her boyfriend immediately after high school. The boyfriend then abandoned her. She was left with a kid to take care of, all by herself. At such a young age, she was forced to raise another tiny human.  (Here in my country, there’s no such thing as child-support or garnishee. The woman bears the pain and the burden of raising the kid. In addition to this, abortion is a crime. Do you see why I think that being a woman is hard...and that women are tough because they get on with it?).

In my life, there is no time such as now that I have been more convinced that it pays to be a badly-behaved woman. Not only are you exempted from all the misery and misfortunes of being a well-behaved woman,  you also gain respect from everyone…  you get an opportunity to make history, to be what you want to be, and to do that which you want to do.

However, being a badly-behaved woman comes at a cost: to understand the cost, it is imperative that you understand this:  No matter how lonely a lion may get, it will not spend an evening with a zebra. That is not pride, it’s just who the lion is. Lions and zebras don’t hang out together and that is not pride, that is just who the lion is.

Don’t hang out with zebras, if you know that you are a lion.

To all women, with love,

Judy.

Kenya I : What is happening?

Lately, I have been doing alot of thinking. (I have a friend, Titus, who at this point would have said "Finally, you are thinking". Titus, you are funny. ;)  I always think). I have been thinking about what my country, Kenya, has been going through. I returned home this month to witness shocking events and mishaps.

Apparently, there have been two communities that have been fighting for cattle (yes, it is happening in the 21st century...and no, the cattle they are fighting for isn't what you are thinking of. They are fighting for malnourished cows and camels). The Kenyan government thought that it would be a noble deed to send some policemen (I think they were administration police), 42 of them to the battle-field. I am shaking as am writing this because what happened still haunts me everytime I remember that I am a Kenyan, and that I have always been proud of the Kenyan government. The 42 policemen were mercilessly massacred in a shooting-spree.

More recently, 3 Kenyan defense soldiers were shot in a town called Garissa.The death of the 3 soldiers angered the whole defense force and they unleashed their rage on the residents of Garissa. They burnt businesses, residential houses, shot and killed the innocent residents of Garissa. The soldiers raped women and children (this is one of the reasons I detest, and I always will, men.) I have a friend, Mohammed, who works and resides in Garissa.  He told me about how ugly the scene was.

This is just a summary of the unfortunate events that have been happening to our country. This series of events have led to travel sanctions and warning by most countries. Subsequently, foreign direct investment in Kenya is limited.

I cry for Kenya, the ICT hub of Africa, the blessed land...I pray for you , Kenya.

My message to my fellow Kenyans:

We are one people, it is not an accident that we all found ourselves in this beautiful land. God did not make a mistake when he let all the 42 tribes to reside in one country.   And so, even as there is no doubt that Kenyans will have different views and opinions, millions in fact – that is fine.  As we are about to have our national elections, let us observe peace. As much as you might not agree with your neighbour's opinion or choice, respect them. Don't attack them. We have had enough tragedy as of now. We don't want any more drama or loss of lives.

 If we seek a dignified society, we must embody that dignity and grant the same to others.

We are one people.

Kenya moja, sisi ni wenye nchi. Tuishi kwa amani.
(One Kenya, we are the owners of the country. Let's live in peace)

God bless you and God bless Kenya.